My Race

The quarter is almost over. This year's final Finals Week is just a few weeks away. I should be experiencing one of those last minute bursts of energy that marathon runners say that they feel upon turning a corner and seeing their finish line for the first time. Personally, I think that they start falling forward out of sheer exhaustion, the kind that I am experiencing right now, and make themselves believe it is a personal effort. Exhaustion does that to people. It makes us loopy.

To be blunt, and I need to be with and for myself, I've made some really stupid decisions lately. I have really hurt Kevin, my hometown boyfriend of two years, and dumped him about a month ago after being a real bitch. I silence my phone every time Laura calls because she asks questions about how I'm feeling that I don't want to have to deal with right now. Sorry Laura :(. And I haven't talked to my family in weeks, and until today I didn't really care to. Sorry mom. :*(

I haven't been myself. I'm usually happy and spunky, positive an optimistic. But lately I've been acting like a vacuum for happiness, sucking it dry wherever I go and whoever I'm with. And it's not because I'm on drugs or hanging out with the wrong people or whatever else society blames teenage angst on these days. It's because I'm in college and away from home, and both of those situations suck right now. It sucks that I don't have the luxury to leave. It sucks that I don't have a choice.

Summer's finish line, save me please. I'll put on a number and run if I have to. Just hurry and come. I want to go home. :(